Too pooped to play

I've been fighting a cold...a weird cold that has sat directly on my nose for the last 5 days with no other symptoms... for (here's the big shock) the last 5 days! It has sucked so hard that I got a hickey on the end of my pee pee and that's not a good kind of sucking.

I went out last night and bought an new device (probably "new" in the sense that its been around for the last 5000 years as a home remedy) called a Netipot. No, for those wondering, it is not a smoking pot (like our beloved Michael Phelps' bong) , but instead a contraption that looks like a tea pot. You do not, however, use this particular pot for making tea, but instead mix up a special solution of stuff (what I don't know so don't ask) and you pour it up your nose to clean out your sinuses. Yes, you read that correctly.

The instructions say, "Lean forward and tilt your head to the side"...of course this is the same set of instructions that came in the box that tells you what you just bought is shit and that you should have bought a different product made by the same company because it's so far superior to the piece of shit you just bought, but I digress... "make a tight seal and pour the liquid into your nostril to allow it to flow out the other nostril thus allowing you to clean out all of the compacted shit the cold you have has placed in your nose so that you'll feel better" or something along those lines.

Now whoever thought of this is probably the same person who thinks colonics are a great idea...although and I am NOT making this up my cousin said, "I could SEE better" after having his ass pumped full of gallons of water... but maybe they aren't too bad. Because SO much snot came out of my nose I had a string flowing from my nose into the sink. For those who don't know me, I'm taller than most redwoods so that's a significant distance.

Of course the negative side effects are that having chosen to buy the piece of crap that was far inferior to the other product made by the same company (which involved some sort of pumping mechanism...see discussion of colonics above) because my sinuses were stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey's ass, I also had a nice bit of back flow that filled my throat with what I can only imagine were boogers the colors of the rainbow. God know's that shit didn't fall into the sink like the gallon of snot.

However, at the end of the whole ordeal...me drinking a solution of stuff I can only hope was non-toxic, some boogers and a liter of snot (while simultaneously rinsing some of the similar stuff down the drain) I did feel slightly better. I'm not going to give you resounding praise of the Netipot, but I will tell you that should you decide to buy one, I wouldn't because there are apparently far superior products made by the same company and they aren't shy about telling you so.

I say "fuck'em" I'm not going to buy there far superior product because washing out the contents of my nose just doesn't seem to me to be a hobby I'm going to take up.